


The Divine Zero

by oursaviorkellinquinn



Category: Piercetheveil, sleepingwithsirens - Fandom
Genre: College, Drug Use, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27925819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oursaviorkellinquinn/pseuds/oursaviorkellinquinn
Summary: Vic desperately likes Kellin. Kellin desperately likes doing drugs. Will they be able to have a functional relationship while balancing the struggles of college life?
Relationships: Kellic - Relationship
Kudos: 3





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS STORY: drug abuse, sexual content.

~Vic pov~  
I’ve seen him around before but tonight is the first time I’ve really seen him. You know what I mean? You can see someone and maybe even interact with them, but then there’s a moment when you realize that you haven’t really been looking.

Kellin is standing across the room from me, leaning against the wall, and he is gorgeous. His hair is dark and longer than most guys keep it, but since it’s wavy I think it looks cute. His skin is flawless and pale, but not sickly, more like porcelain than anything else. Even his clothes are perfect. Black jeans, a band shirt, and a red flannel tied around his waist.

I decide to just go over and say hi instead of watching him like a complete creeper. Usually I wouldn’t have the guts to do this, but as I make my way to him I realize that I’m tipsy and that’s probably where I’m getting my bravery from. Either way, now I’m leaning against the wall next to him and I’ve gotta say something.

“Hey,” I shout.

He smiles over at me before looking out at the dance floor again.

“Hi!”

“These parties kinda blow, don’t they?”

“Nah,” he chuckles, “you’re obviously not partying right! I’m having a fucking great time!”

He bops his head to the music and raises his drink to someone across the room.

“Oh yeah? Could you give me some pointers?”

He turns to face me and has this beautiful grin on his lips. God, those lips are gorgeous.

“Okay, how drunk are you?” 

“Definitely buzzed.”

“That’s your first problem, you’ve gotta be at least trashed to enjoy these things!”

I tip my beer up to my lips while keeping eye contact with him and chug the whole thing.

“Better?” I ask.

“You’re getting there. A couple more of those and you’ll be appropriately wasted.”

“Noted. Anything else?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“Dance with me,” he says flirtatiously as he grabs my hand and pulls me toward the dance floor. It’s really just a square area that they moved the furniture away from, but for a bunch of college kids it’s not bad.

As soon as we’re in the middle of the other people writhing around, Kellin swings his hips and puts his hands over his head.

He has this confidence that I can’t even describe. It’s not like he’s deciding to not care, he really just doesn’t care what others think and I find that extremely attractive.

“Come on, dance!” He yells.

I can hardly take my eyes off of him, but he grabs my hands and forces me to start moving along with him. Soon we’re grinding to the beat and it’s intoxicating to have him this close to me. His ass is against my front and his hands are constantly touching my arms or sides.

As one song ends and another fast, dance track begins, Kellin starts jumping and moving again. He gets a little off balance, making me wonder how wasted he is, and he grabs my arm for support, causing me to start moving with him. I expect this to go on, dancing and drinking our night away, what I don’t expect is this beautiful boy to lean in even closer to me and smash his lips into mine. I accept the kiss and return it wholeheartedly, skipping the romance and just frenching him right in the middle of the crowd. We have a sloppy, hot makeout session for a couple minutes before we pull away.

“This was fun, I’ll catch you later?” He yells, already disappearing into the crowd.

I’m so confused by his abrupt departure that I don’t even have time to respond before he’s gone. Why did he leave? Did he not feel the magic in that kiss? That’s not something you just leave after. 

In order to stop obsessing over him for the rest of the night, I take his advice and get absolutely trashed. Guess what? He was right. It helped.

I think about that boy the entire weekend. I think about him while I tend to my horrific hangover the next morning. I think about him while I study, eat, and I even have a dream about him.

I can’t put a finger on what was so special about our evening together. I mean, it happens all the time. People meet at parties, have a good time, fuck, and then never see each other again. I don’t want that with Kellin, I want to be around his intoxicating energy again.

On Monday I basically skip to my English class because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Kellin in it. I swear I’m not stalking him, I just want to interact with him and see if we connect again.

I take my seat and only wait a few minutes before I see him. He looks admittedly different than the last time we were together which throws me off guard, but I guess we all look different in class versus at a party. This morning he has the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over most of his hair and the bangs hanging out of the front are a little greasy. There’s bags under his eyes and he’s just not quite as radiant as I remember.

I manage to pay attention during class, only sneaking a couple looks at the boy. A little ways into the lecture I realize that he’s fallen asleep on his arm so I stop looking. It feels weird to watch him sleep.

When the teacher dismisses us I get up and gather my books before I head for the door. It just so happens that I walk out directly next to Kellin, so I decide to say something to him. I mean, we made out, so it would be awkward if I didn’t, right?

“Hey Kellin,” I chirp.

“Um, hi? Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“That’s okay,” I laugh, trying not to feel hurt. “It’s Vic, we danced together at that party on Friday night.”

“Cool, I was pretty fucked up so don’t be offended that I don’t remember.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

He smiles and gives me a little wave as he turns to leave.

So he was drunk enough that he doesn’t remember me at all? He wasn’t slurring at all when we talked or anything. He must hold his alcohol really well. Or maybe he’s a blackout drunk?

As I walk to my next class I decide that I just need to forget about that night because obviously I’m blowing this whole thing out of proportion. It was a one time thing that happened cause we were drunk at a party and that’s the end of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1123 words :)


	2. 2.

~kellin pov~  
“Dude? You almost ready to go?” My roommate, Justin, asks as I check my outfit in the mirror.

“Yeah, just a minute.”

My hair looks good and my outfit is hot, I just need one more thing. I open the bottom drawer of my dresser and stare at the various bottles. I pull one out and take a few of the small, orange pills. 

Now I’m ready.

A few hours later I’m definitely feeling the effects of the adderall I took. I’m at another party and I feel fucking good. I get myself a beer and go to find somewhere to sit down for awhile since Justin ditched me for some girl.

I plop down on a faded sofa and rest my head back to enjoy the calm, happy feeling pulsing through my veins.

“We need to stop meeting this way,” a voice next to me says.

I open my eyes and lift my head up to find that guy, Vic. I don’t remember him being so handsome. His hair is naturally curly which makes me want to tangle my fingers in it and he has an adorable little nose ring.

“I don’t think it’s really a problem,” I say, purposefully flirting with him. He’s hot and I’m horny right now so I don’t see a reason to be shy.

“You don’t think that partying when we should be studying is a problem?”

God, he isn’t some boring goody two shoes, is he?

“There’s only one thing I’d like to study right now,” I purr.

His cheeks get a little red which only makes him cuter.

“What’s that?” He asks, sounding unsure.

I move really close to him and rest my hand on his thigh, painfully close to his crotch, then lean in close to his ear.

“Your dick,” I whisper, nipping his earlobe before I move away.

His whole face goes red and I giggle at his flustered expression. At least he isn’t horrified or shooting me down. Maybe he isn’t so boring after all.

“Wanna go back to my room?” I ask, already standing up.

“Yeah,” He quickly replies.

We make our way to my room because I know for a fact that Justin will hook up with some random girl tonight and end up staying with her. That means Vic and I won’t be interrupted.

As soon as I shut the door behind us we go over to my bed where I push him down on his back. I crawl over him and connect our lips in a lusty kiss. His tongue glides against mine so smoothly that I can barely hold back the moans that are building in my throat. Eventually I let one out and it breaks the kiss so he moves down to my jaw and neck as I begin palming him through his jeans. I can feel that he’s already erect and it excites me.

“Wait,” he says breathlessly.

“What?” I ask, barely paying attention to him.

“How drunk are you?”

“I had one beer, I’m fine, just relax,” I mumble against the skin of his collar bone.

He seems to be happy with that so I take my chance to undo his pants and stick my hand down them, stroking his dick. I pull him out of his jeans and move down the bed until I can suck him off, swirling my tongue and pumping some of his length with my hand. In no time he’s squirming around on the bed and grabbing my hair, pleasure flowing through him because of me.

“I’m close,” he moans.

“Cum in my mouth,” I moan before going back to sucking him.

This seems to do it for him as he shoots his hot sperm onto my tongue and down my throat. I swallow it all like a good boy and clean him up before I get up.

“Lay down, I’ll do you too,” he offers as he catches his breath.

“I’m good actually, but thanks.”

The last time I brought someone back to my room I couldn’t get hard, which was embarrassing, so I’ve decided to only give and not receive for awhile.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He nods and seems a little awkward since we’ve done what we came here to do. I still feel calm and nice, especially after bringing him to orgasm so quickly, so I lay with him and curl into his side.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” I ask, the drugs still coursing through my veins making me overly confident.

“Yeah, definitely.”

I grin to myself and kiss his cheek before I let my eyes rest.

Waking up next to someone is not something I’ve done for a long time. My last boyfriend broke up with me before I left for college and I’ve never stayed over with any of my one night stands or let them stay with me. Usually when I wake up the day after a party I get depressed from the comedown of being high. The simple answer would be to not do drugs, but that’s not really an option for me anymore.

“Morning,” Vic says when he sees that I’m awake.

“Morning,” I murmur, burying my face into the blankets and letting my eyes close again. I can already tell that I’m gonna be all tired and lethargic today.

“Do you have classes this morning?”

I just groan and he laughs.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

We lay together and talk until I absolutely have to get up. I think this is the first time I’ve really talked to him that I wasn’t high. It’s a weird experience cause I’m lacking the energy I like having, but Vic seems sweet anyway.

For the next couple of weeks we spend a lot of time together. We sit together in classes that we both take, we go to the cafeteria for meals together, and Vic invites me over all the time to watch movies with him in the evening. It’s really nice to have someone to hang out with... and make out with.

I’m worried that he’ll get tired of my constantly changing moods and ditch me, but he never even asks about it. He’s not stupid, he’s got to notice that sometimes I’m energetic and flirty and other times I’m painfully tired. I guess he just doesn’t realize that it’s not natural mood swings, it’s the difference between being high off my ass and coming off of drugs.

Even though Vic isn’t nearly as into partying as I am I still managed to talk him into going to one with me tonight. It turns out to be a little lame but we get beers and sit on the couch.

I just love the atmosphere of parties. Everyone is letting loose for a night and putting aside all their stress. It’s so loud and busy that you can be whoever you want to be and it doesn’t matter. I guess I can’t really say that about this party in particular because there’s only about ten other people here and they don’t have the music turned up very loud yet.

“We don’t have to stay long if no one else shows up,” I tell Vic as I take a gulp of my drink.

“Alright,” he replies. 

He rests his hand on my thigh and moves closer to me before sliding it up near my dick. I still haven’t let him get me off cause I’m pretty embarrassed by my inability to get hard right now. All of his contact with me tonight though makes me want to say “fuck it” and give it a go anyways.

I glance at him and see something playful in his expression even though his eyes are filled with lust. He must be a horny drunk. After all, he did tell me that we made out the first time we ever met. Not that I remember.

A random guy stops in front of us, breaking the little lusty trance we were in. He holds up a baggy filled with the small, orange pills that I’m very well acquainted with.

“Do either of you want some?” He asks.

“Yes please,” I chirp at the exact same time that Vic says, “no thanks.”

The guy laughs and opens the baggy, plucking out three of the pills and putting them in my hand before leaving.

“Are you really gonna take those?” Vic asks, sounding kind of judgmental.

“Um, yeah?”

“Isn’t that adderall?”

“Mm-hm. Are you sure you didn’t want some?”

“I’m sure,” he says right as he takes his hand off my thigh.

For a second I consider not taking hem because I don’t want Vic to be mad at me, but am I really gonna pass up the opportunity for free drugs?

I shrug and throw them back with a gulp of beer.

“Don’t look so horrified, it’s a party,” I whine, trying to lighten the mood. 

I guess this goes to show that he really doesn’t realize I’m high more often than not.

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighs.

We only stay for twenty more minutes before I decide that this party is a flop and we should go back to Vic’s dorm.

He doesn’t hold my hand on our way back or do anything very affectionate with me all night, but I try to not let it bother me. He’ll get over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1562 words :)


	3. 3.

~kellin pov~  
By the next evening we seem to have gotten past the whole issue and Vic is back to his usual, sweet self.

I invite him to my dorm because Justin went home for the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone.

“What do you want to do?” He asks, sitting on my bed and kicking off his shoes.

“I don’t know, wanna watch a movie?” I suggest absentmindedly. 

“Yeah, sure, or we could... you know...”

I must have missed his flirty tone of voice cause usually I know when he’s in the mood to fool around. I’m just kinda depressed and out of it right now but it’s nothing a couple of addys won’t fix.

“Oh, sure. One minute.”

I rummage around in my dresser until I come up with a random prescription bottle. I don’t want him to see my stash in the bottom drawer cause given his reaction the other night, I think it would upset him. I shake out a few of the pills into my palm and swallow them dry.

“Do you have a prescription for that?” Vic asks, sounding confused.

“Um, no? Why would I?”

He glances at the bottle I’m still holding and quirks his eyebrow.

“Just... don’t worry about it. Okay? I take it every once in awhile when I want to have fun.” I explain.

He just nods, seeming unconvinced.

I go over to him and straddle his lap, pressing my crotch against him as a distraction... unfair, I know.

“Now, what was it you were wanting to do?”

He smiles and kisses me, immediately pressing his tongue past my lips. He tastes like coffee and his lips are perfectly soft against mine. He grabs my ass and gives it a sensual squeeze, his grip giving me the perfect amount of pressure.

All of a sudden I know that I want to take this further than usual. I can’t even remember why I’ve been holding back.

“Let’s fuck,” I mumble against his lips.

“Okay,” he replies simply.

He rolls us over and pushes my back onto the bed. I pull his shirt over his head and then sit up so he can do the same for me.

Whatever you want to say about horny boys, you can say it about us. There’s little to no romance right now, just two guys that desperately want to fuck.

Once we’re both completely naked, I get on my hands and knees on the edge of the bed, letting Vic have all the access to my hole that he wants. 

“Do you have lube?”

“In the top drawer right there,” I instruct, pointing him to my bedside table.

He coats his fingers in the stuff and then pushes them into me. If I didn’t finger myself as much as I do then this would be really painful, but I guess it’s not a problem. 

He must decide that I’m stretched enough because he removes his digits from me and I hear the crinkling of a condom wrapper. A few seconds later I feel him pushing into me. I’m definitely feeling the affects of the pills I took and it’s making me able to relax and let him fit inside of me. Once he’s all the way inside he bends over my back and leaves butterfly kisses all over my shoulder blades. The small gesture makes me smile. This boy is too sweet for me.

“Can I move?”

“Yeah,” I whimper, actually needing him to speed this up.

I haven’t gotten properly laid in a long time and now that we’re this far in, I’m getting desperate.

He pulls out and pushes in slowly a few times before he begins bucking his hips against me faster.

“Please, harder,” I beg, slamming my ass back toward him. “I want you to pound me.”

He takes my instructions to heart and is soon fucking into me with all of his force. I’m so focused on his cock hitting my prostate and practically making my eyes roll back in my head, that I haven’t even realized that I’m not hard.

Vic leans over me again and wraps one of his arms under my torso to grab my dick and jack me off... So he’s the one to find that I’m still flaccid.

“Why aren’t you hard?” He asks, slowing his movements.

“Don’t- ah! Don’t worry about it baby, I’m still gonna cum soon,” I assure him.

He seems pleased with that answer and goes back to fucking my brains out.

I can feel my orgasm building deep inside of me and every time that Vic rams into me and massages my walls I get closer and closer to losing it.

I balance on one hand and touch myself with the other, rolling my hips forward to grind into my palm and causing the wonderful friction that I need.

“I’m gonna cum,” he moans.

“Me too.”

He fucks deep into my twice more before he absolutely buries himself and releases into the condom. I can feel him pulsing and twitching which, combined with my pleasure on my dick, causes me to cum on my bed. My legs shake and I nearly collapse as endorphins rush through my body.

We both stroke ourselves while the last shocks of our orgasms leave our bodies, then we lay down, exhausted and not caring about the mess we made.

“Kells?” He asks after a minute.

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you get hard?”

Wow, this couldn’t be more embarrassing.

“I don’t know, I just haven’t been able to recently.”

“Did your orgasm still feel good?”

“Yeah, really good.”

“Well I guess that’s all that matters.”

I hum in agreement before I snuggle into his side. I have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude toward him as I fall asleep because he didn’t make me feel bad for that. He’s so accepting.

“Kellin?” I hear a voice call as I start waking up. 

My eyes flutter open and land on Vic.

“Why are you over there? Come back to bed,” I groan, flinging my arm over my eyes.

“No, what’s all of this?” 

The question confuses me so I sit up and realize that he’s got the bottom drawer of my dresser open. I can see just how bad it looks because of all the empty bottles I haven’t been throwing away.

“What the fuck? Were you just fucking going through my stuff while I was asleep?”

“No, of course not. I was looking for a phone charger.”

“You fucking know that I keep a charger on my desk.”

“Just answer me, do you have a drug problem? I’m not mad, I just want to know.”

“I don’t have a problem, Vic. You’ve seen me take those before, it’s only every once in awhile. Everyone does it.”

“That’s a lot of bottles for “every once in awhile,” Kellin.”

“Just get out,” I growl, getting out of bed and marching over to him. I slam the drawer shut, hiding the evidence that has caused this whole problem.

“No, I think we should talk about this.”

“I said to get the fuck out of my room. I don’t have a problem so there’s nothing to fucking talk about.” I’m shocked by the words that flow out of my mouth because they sound so defensive.

“Okay, fine, fine. Just... find me when you’re not so pissed off.”

“Fuck off.”

He doesn’t argue anymore and gets his stuff before going.

I don’t know if I have a problem but as long as Vic thinks I do, I might as well live up to the expectation. I pour an entire handful of Adderall out and take them without even thinking it through. The anger and resentment is still coursing through me and I suddenly remember seeing someone snort these one time. That’s gotta feel good.

I’m subconsciously aware that I’m spiraling, but not enough to stop. I take out two more pills and set them on my desk, looking around for the best way to crush them. Eventually I decide to get a couple spoons from the kitchen. Putting one of the tablets in between the spoons I crush it down and grind it up until it’s a powder, then I dump it into a small line on my desk. I grab a scrap of paper that was nearby and roll it up, putting it to my nose and leaning over. I’ve never actually snorted something before so it goes surprisingly well given the circumstances.

The drugs immediately hit my bloodstream and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to process the overwhelming pleasure. Fuck, why haven’t I done this before?

I spend the rest of my day completely out of it and not even worrying about Vic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1457 words :)


	4. 4.

~kellin pov~  
Days go by and I wouldn’t say I stay mad, but I don’t interact with him. My drug usage is going up daily and now I’m unable to go a few hours without a fresh dose, but I’m not that worried. I could quit if I want. I know Vic would be worried though.

I’m currently trying to study when my phone vibrates. I flip it over and check who’s calling. It’s Vic... I’m torn because I don’t want to fight with him but I also really don’t want to keep doing homework...

I hit the green button and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey Kells,” he says in his adorable voice.

“What’s up?”

“It’s just been awhile, I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

My mind flashes to lines of powder and my eye shoots across the room to the bottom drawer of my dresser.

“I’m fine, how about you?”

“I’ve um... I’ve been missing you,” he admits.

I grin at how sweet he is.

“I’ve been missing you too. Do you wanna meet somewhere for coffee?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, if you want...”

“It’s ten o’clock at night.”

“Oh right, um, you’re probably busy. I’m sorry-“

“Kells.”

“Hmm?”

“I just meant that we should probably get hot chocolate instead of coffee.”

I laugh at my own ridiculousness.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re cute when you’re flustered.”

I roll my eyes.

We make plans to meet in fifteen minutes at a small coffee shop a couple blocks from both of us. 

I make myself look presentable, exchanging my sweats for a pair of jeans and throwing a beanie on over my wild hair. I’m momentarily confused by the sickly color of my skin and the deep purple bags under my eyes, but I quickly write it off to needing sleep. I’m not dumb, I know what’s going on, I just don’t want to admit it and deal with it.

When I arrive at the little shop I see Vic at a table in the window. I smile at his oversized sweater and the glasses on his face. He doesn’t wear them often, usually opting for contacts, but I think he looks cute in them.

I wave at him while I order a drink and when the barista hands me my coffee I go over to his table and join him.

“Fancy meeting you here,” I chuckle, internally cringing at my lame joke.

He laughs and his whole face lights up, making me grin too.

“It’s really good to see you,” he sighs, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, you too. I’m, uh, I’m sorry about all the drama.”

I trace my finger over the rim of my mug, focusing on the action instead of making eye contact with Vic.

“It’s okay Kells. I’m sorry that I attacked you like that. If you say that you just take them to have fun sometimes, then I believe you.”

I feel dread enter the pit of my stomach. That’s not what I thought he was gonna say tonight. I figured we might ignore the entire subject.

“That’s r-really nice to hear. Thanks,” I murmur.

“And not talking these last couple days has made me realize how much I care for you...”

I look up to find him staring at me with wide, earnest, eyes.

“Kellin, will you be my boyfriend?”

Even though I know that this will probably all go to shit sooner rather than later, I can’t help but feel flattered that he wants to date me. He really is too nice for me.

“I would love to,” I reply.

His smile can probably be seen from outer space, it’s just that bright. My heart breaks, knowing that he’s made this decision to trust me and I already know that he shouldn’t have, but I push the feeling aside. Maybe it will all work itself out?

We talk and sip our drinks, making them last so that we don’t have to go back out into the cool, night air too soon. Vic makes fun of me for drinking caffeine so late at night and I make fun of him for his glasses, even though he knows I’m joking.

“Wanna go back to my place?” He asks.

“Will Tony be there?”

He shakes his head.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

I knew that this was leading to sex or some kind of messing around as soon as he said his roommate wouldn’t be there, but I don’t necessarily expect him to push my back against the door as soon as he shuts it behind us. He pins my hands above my head and presses his lips to mine firmly. He’s not really dominant so he soon lets go of my wrists and I tangle my fingers in his hair.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he groans.

I move my lips down to his neck and begin sucking a hickey into his lovely tan skin. His hand travels to my crotch and he palms me firmly, causing my breath to go shaky.

We make our way to his bed and he pushes me down onto my back, moving so that he’s on top of me. He connects his lips with mine and lazily moves them, making me feel butterflies in my stomach. I push my tongue into his mouth and turn it into a hot make out session, threading my fingers in his hair and grinding my hips up against his.

“Mmm, fuck,” I moan, breaking apart from him. 

He trails kisses down my jaw and down my neck, removing my shirt so he can kiss and lick all the way down to my happy trail.

“Vic,” I pant.

He looks up at me, still working on the skin right above my waistband.

“I’m not sure if I can... y-you know,” I stutter, hoping he gets it.

“That’s okay, just enjoy yourself.”

I relax and let him continue.

With a little help from me he gets my pants and underwear off and cups me in his palm. I let out a shaky sigh and grind against him. He gently tugs on me and even though it’s already clear that I’m not gonna get an erection, it feels really good. He leans down and sucks me into his warm, wet mouth. 

“Oh god, yes,” I whine.

He chuckles, causing vibrations that make my entire body tingle. It doesn’t take long for me to feel a familiar sensation building up inside me.

“I’m close,” I murmur.

He makes eye contact with me as he swirls his tongue around and pleasures me so well. It feels so intimate to have him looking at me while he does that and it pushes me over the edge. My legs shake as my cum lands in his mouth and on his tongue. He licks me clean and finally leaves one last kiss on my tip.

He crawls up the bed and lays next to me. I boldly reach over and feel the front of his pants, finding that he’s hard. I push aside my jealousy and rub the outline of his cock.

He takes a sharp breath and pushes his lips to mine. Our tongues dance as I undo his jeans and slide them down enough to pull him out. After stroking him for a minute I dig through his bedside table and get the lube, squirting some into my hand before touching him again.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes, throwing his head back.

I slowly build up speed until I’m flicking my wrist up and down his length. He’s breathing hard and squirming all over the place while I focus on stimulating his tip too.

“I’m, uhhmmm, I’m gonna cum,” he moans.

I take the bottle of lube and squeeze more out directly onto the head of his dick and then I move my fingers over the gel, spreading it around and jacking him off and fast as I can. He bucks his hips, forcing his cock to slide through my hands roughly, and shoots his cum all over the both of us. I keep touching him while string after string of the white liquid spray from his tip, the last couple just dribbling out.

“Fuck,” he breathes.

I giggle and wipe my hand on the sheets before snuggling into his side. I listen to his heart pounding in his chest and his lungs quickly inhaling and exhaling. Eventually he becomes calmer and his breathing evens out. I peer up and find him asleep.

Something in me clicks into action and I slip out of his arms as quickly as I can without waking him. 

This wasn’t some grand plan, I didn’t seduce him so that I could go get high, but that’s what has ended up happening. I throw on my clothes and slip on my shoes as fast as possible.

My only goal is to get back to my place, get what I need and get back here without Vic ever knowing I left.

So that’s what I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1503 words :)


	5. 5.

~Vic pov~  
Everything is going great with Kellin. We’ve been dating for about a week and I couldn’t be happier.

Of course I’m still looking out for him at parties to be sure he doesn’t do anything stupid but I’ve decided to just trust him. Our relationship would fall apart in a second if I was constantly up his ass about his drug usage. It’s college, everyone is taking stuff.

I guess Kellin has a paper he needs to finish up tonight, so he sent me back to my dorm claiming I would be a distraction.

Tony and I have been hanging out and watching tv for awhile when I hear my phone go off. It’s just a text and I’m not sure where I left it so I don’t bother to get up.

Another text comes in shortly after the first and I look around the room, trying to remember if I left it on the desk or somewhere in the blankets on my bed.

When it finally starts ringing I groan and get up.

I find it stuck under my pillow and I almost miss the call. I hit the “answer” button at the last second and see that it’s my friend, Jaime.

“Dude, what’s going on?” I ask.

“I’ve been texting you,” he yells. I can hear a lot of background noise and if I had to guess I’d say he’s at a party.

“I know, I didn’t have my phone on me.”

“Okay well, you’re dating Kellin Quinn, right?”

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“I’m at this party down in the main street dorms and he’s here too.”

He lied to me about what he was doing tonight? Why would he do that? He knows that I would go to a party with him if he wanted to.

“And he’s super fucked up dude. Like, I think he’s gonna black out or be sick or something,” he says, finally telling me why he thought he should call.

“Fuck, okay, I’ll be there soon.”

He tells me where I can find them and I hang up, throwing on shoes and searching for my keys.

“What’s going on?” Tony asks.

“Somethings wrong with Kellin, I-I gotta go get him,” I stammer before leaving.

My heart is racing as I nearly run across the campus. There’s no missing which dorm is having a party because it’s loud and there’s people all over. I shove my way through the crowd and to the stairwell. Jaime said he was in the third room on the right up on the second floor. That’s all the better directions I got because my friend seemed a little drunk himself.

When I reach the correct room I start scanning the area for Kellin. I don’t see him at first and my stomach drops, wondering if he left and if he’s safe. 

“Vic! Over here!”

I spot Jaime waving me down and I rush across the room to a loveseat pushed against the wall. It looks like they moved it to make room for the party and now my boyfriend is unconscious on it. He’s pale and sweaty, his breaths leaving his lips in short gasps. 

“Is he drunk?” I ask, knowing that’s not the case. I guess I’m just trying to be hopeful.

I squat down and shake his shoulder, trying to rouse him.

“Nah man, I saw him doing lines of something.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. What the fuck was Kellin snorting?

“Kellin, Kells. Please wake up,” I beg, shaking him harder.

His eyelids flutter open and the first thing I notice is how huge his pupils are. I can only see a thin ring of his natural grayish blue eyes.

He tries to sit up but starts coughing violently.

“Kells, are you okay? Let’s get you a drink,” I say, beginning to panic.

“I-I don’t,” he slurs. 

“Hmm?” 

“I don’t feel g-good.”

His eyes roll back in his head and he blacks out again.

“Oh my god. Um, oh fuck.”

“I’m gonna call an ambulance,” Jaime says, pulling out his phone.

I want to deny the fact that we need help, but we do. I don’t know what Kellin did or took and I don’t know if it’s gonna wear off or if he overdosed. Oh god, what if he overdosed? It’s easy to do that when you’re snorting stuff.

I sit there with him, brushing his bangs off his sweaty forehead until Jaime takes me by the arm and pulls me away from him. I look around and find that the party has cleared out. A few strong guys come in with a gurney and load up my boyfriend, rushing him out the door in a flurry of chatter that doesn’t make any sense to me.

I sink to the floor and hide my face in my hands. I want to cry but it’s like I can’t.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Jaime grunts, helping me stand up.

I guess we walk across the campus but I don’t really register it. The next thing I know I’m laying in my bed.

“Are you gonna be okay, man?” 

I open my mouth to reply but a sob is the only thing that comes out. I cover my mouth with a hand and begin crying. I can’t breath around the sobs wracking my body and the tears and snot are dripping off my face.

“Woah, woah. It’s gonna be okay. They said he’d probably pull through,” Jaime assures me. 

I’m his only makes me cry harder because that sounds like bullshit. Probably pull through? That’s the best they’ve got?

“Hey, Jaime, why don’t you take off? I’ve got this,” I hear another voice say.

Through my tears I realize that it’s Tony. He sits on the edge of my bed and rubs soothing circles on my arm with his thumb. He’s always been a naturally calming person.

I try to pull myself together. I take deep breathes and begin mopping my face with the sleeve of my shirt, but as soon as there’s hope of calming down everything hits me again.

“I knew!” I cry.

“What did you know?” Tony questions.

“I-I knew he w-was doing drugs a-and I just let him!”

“Shhh, stop. Don’t blame yourself.”

“But I ignored his problem and now he’s in the hospital all alone!” As I say this the true reality of it hits me. What the hell am I doing here? “Fuck, I’ve gotta see him,” I mumble, trying to get up.

“No,” Tony says firmly, placing a hand on my shoulder and pushing me back down.

“I can’t just leave him there alone!” I sob hysterically.

“Jaime gave the EMTs Kellin’s full name and they said that they would notify his family. Even if you went to the hospital right now they wouldn’t let you see him. It’s only gonna be family allowed tonight.”

I manage to calm my breathing and see the sense in what he’s saying.

“I’m just so scared Tony. What if something went wrong? What if he has brain damage or...or-“

“Don’t think like that. You’re tired, why don’t you get some rest and in the morning I’ll drive you to the hospital. Okay?”

I nod.

“Yeah, okay,” I sigh.

Tony makes sure that I clean myself up and drink a glass of water before basically tucking me into my bed. It’s embarrassing but very nice of him. He’s always been the “mom” of our friend group.

It feels like I’ll never fall asleep, but once I do drift off I sleep hard for about twelve hours. Trauma must really wear you out.

When I wake up Tony is already dressed and drinking a cup of coffee.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he chimes.

Twenty minutes later I’m rushing into the nearest hospital. I assume this is where they brought him, but I guess I can’t be sure. 

“Hello sir, are you here to see someone?” A chirpy young lady at the front desk asks me.

“Yeah, um, his name is Kellin Quinn. He was brought in last night.”

She clicks around on her computer for a minute before speaking.

“It looks like Mr. Quinn is no longer here.”

“Wh-what does that mean?” I choke out.

“He’s been moved to Radke Rehab Facility.”

I breath a sigh of relief.

“So he’s gonna be okay?”

“I don’t have access to any records of his general health and well-being, but they don’t move people out of the hospital if they have any major health problems.”

“Okay, thank you so much ma’am.”

“Sure, have a good one!”

I go back out to the car and tell Tony everything I know.

After nearly harassing the poor receptionist I find out that Kellin can’t have visitors and that they don’t know how long his stay will be. Even though I’m disappointed I can’t see him, I’m still elated that he’s okay.

The following weeks absolutely drag by. I put all of my focus on classes, studying like a lunatic and trying to spend as much time at the library as possible. When my friends make me stop and hang out with them the only thing I can think is that I wish Kellin was there. Then I start thinking about him and I miss kissing him and I wonder if he’ll still want me when he gets out of rehab. Maybe he just liked me cause I would date him and not bother him about his drug problem... this is why I stay busy, so I can’t spiral.

At the one month mark something sad starts happening. I start getting used to it. I don’t think about Kellin any time I’m not busy. I absolutely still think of him every day, but I go longer periods of time without considering how he’s doing. I no longer have nightmares of finding him that night and I can’t find his scent in the sweatshirt he left on my desk chair. My life begins to go on without him, even if I don’t want it to.

I groan as I wake up one morning, desperately not wanting to sit through an English lecture this this early, but I know I have to. I roll out of bed and put a k-cup in the machine before hitting “brew.” Unplugging my phone I fuck around on social media while I wait for my coffee. 

Thats when something weird happens. There’s a knock on the door... My head shoots up and Tony groans.

“Who the fuck is here this early?” He grumbles.

I look down at myself, knowing I’m only in low riding pajama pants and then shrug. If someone bothers us this early then it’s not my responsibility to look presentable. 

I go to the door and open it, revealing Kellin standing in the hallway. He looks absolutely fucking adorable in black jeans, a green plaid button down, and a slouchy black beanie. 

“Hi,” he chirps shyly, breaking me out of my daze.

“Oh my god!” I gasp, lunging forward and wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug.

He laughs and hugs me back. I feel a couple tears slip down my cheeks, so I pull away and wipe them with the back of my hand.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I laugh, hugging him again.

He buries his face in my shoulder and we stay like that for way too long, but I just can’t let go of him.

“I’m so sorry,” he says as we finally break away from each other. “I’m sorry I lied and I’m sorry for worrying you and-“

“Stop. It’s okay. I’m just so happy you’re here.”

He blushes.

“Do you have classes this morning?” He asks, playing with the ends of his sleeves.

“Yeah, but I’m gonna skip them.”

He giggles.

“Do you wanna come in?” I offer.

“For sure.”

As I open the door I nearly run into Tony as he leaves for class.

“Oh shit, sorry,” I apologize.

“It’s okay. Hey Kellin, how are you feeling?” Tony asks sincerely, stepping forward to give him a quick side hug.

“A lot better. Thanks for asking.”

We both say goodbye to him and then slip into the room.

“Do you want coffee?” 

“You know I do,” he giggles.

I make us both our drinks while Kellin quizzes me about everything that he missed on campus.

When I sit next to him on my bed I hold my mug with one hand and rest the other on his thigh. I just can’t believe he’s here.

“Your turn. I want to hear everything you’ll willingly tell me,” I say.

He clears his throat and looks down to his lap, placing his hand on top of mine and squeezing it.

“It was um...it was really fucking hard and scary.”

I just nod, not wanting to interrupt.

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I um- I told you I was going to study, which wasn’t a lie at the time, but I barely got started when I decided I needed some pills.”

“You mostly took adderall, right?” 

He nods.

“I knew I was out, I had been blowing through my stash and so I went to that party just looking for a handful of pills. That’s all I wanted.”

“So what happened?”

He looks away from me, training his gaze out the window.

“I found the party and I found a guy dealing some stuff. I started with probably five or six addys, but then he said he could crush up some more if I wanted to snort them...”

“Oh. Had you ever done that before?”

“Yeah,” He breathes, sounding ashamed.

“Hey, please look at me.”

I reach over and tilt his chin up until we’re making eye contact.

“I’m not judging you about any of this. I just feel like it’s really important that we get all of it out in the open so that there’s nothing weird between us. Okay?”

His eyes fill with tears and and his chin trembles.

“Thank you,” he sobs, leaning forward and kissing me. 

I softly move my lips against his despite the tears rolling down his face. We don’t deepen the kiss and it doesn’t last very long, but it seems to give him the strength he needs to continue. He wipes the wetness away from his cheeks and takes a deep breath.

“I basically ended up snorting a lot more adderall than I ever had before and that’s the last thing I remember from that night.”

“Really?”

He nods.

“I guess it’s not surprising, you were really out of it.”

“You were there?” He asks, seeming shocked.

“Jaime called me and said you were sick or something, so I came to get you. You didn’t know that?”

“No. They told me that Jaime had been the one to call the ambulance but I didn’t know you had seen me.”

“But you don’t remember anything from that night?”

“No, I guess they took me to the hospital where they made sure I hadn’t overdosed or anything and then they sent me straight to rehab.”

“And what was that like?”

“Fucking grueling. They gave me this medication that was supposed to help ease me into recovery but I still felt like death warmed over.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been awful.”

“It was, but I just kept thinking about you. That’s what really got me through it.”

“Really?” I ask, surprised that I had been on his mind as much as he had been on mine.

“Yeah,” he blushes. “I was so disappointed in myself that we had barely been going out and I fucked it up. I was so scared that you wouldn’t want me or you would have moved on by the time I got back.”

“That would never happen. You can ask my friends, I was going fucking insane without you here,” I chuckle.

He laughs too, an adorable giggle that I’ve missed with my entire being.

“So yeah. I pushed through the medication and the hours of therapy and the gross food... and here I am!”

“More than a month clean, huh?”

“Mh-hm. I have a sponsor and I have to go to NA meetings, but I feel really good.”

“I’m so proud of you,” I breathe as I lean toward him and connect our lips in a chaste kiss.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” he whispers. His breath ghosts against my lips and I feel like there’s a million butterflies in my stomach.

“Is there anything I can do to help you? Are conversations like this.. triggering? Or anything?”

“No, no. I don’t need a babysitter and I don’t want you tip toeing around my addiction. I developed it and now I have to deal with it. Just be there for me and I’ll ask for anything I need.”

“I can do that.”

He smiles at me and my heart flutters.

“What should we do today?” I ask, giving him the option to just chill if he wants or to do something celebratory if he feels up to it.

“Can we go for a walk around the campus? It’s a beautiful day.”

“That’s a great idea, let me get dressed.”

“Aw, never mind.”

“What?” I ask, confused by his sudden change of mind.

“I don’t want to do anything that makes you put on a shirt,” he flirts.

I laugh and continue getting dressed, now realizing that he’s just joking around.

“I’ve missed you so god damn much,” I sigh dreamily.

“Ugh, me too. Detoxing is one thing but also just having to jack myself off? That was total bullshit.”

I laugh at his overdramatized tone.

As soon as I’m dressed we leave my room and then the building, walking hand in hand. We talk a little as we stroll around the campus, but we also enjoy the beautiful winter day. Every time we go into that peaceful silence that you only have with some people, I feel this happiness wash over me.

Kellin is back, he’s still my boyfriend, and he’s healthy now. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3034 words :)


	6. 6. (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this is just smut so if that’s not your thing then just consider the end of chapter five the end of the story :) Don’t forget to comment and leave me a kudos!

~Vic pov~  
“Viccy?” Kellin whines.

“Hmm?” I say, not lifting my eyes off the page I’m reading.

“I’m bored of studying.”

“Babe, you’ve literally been studying for the first time in a month for about fifteen minutes. I think you can handle it.”

“But do you want to know what I’d rather study?”

“You already used that one on me,” I chuckle, still not looking over at him.

“Ugh please? I’d way rather fuck than read about historical shit. Plus, I have a surprise for you...”

I sigh and give in, looking over at him sitting cross legged on my bed.

“What is it?”

“You have to come here,” he purrs, beckoning me over with his finger.

I grin at his antics and get up from my desk, going over to the bed and sitting by him. He closes the short distance between us and kisses me sweetly. His lips are warm and inviting as they move slowly against mine. I brush my tongue over them and he lets me inside his mouth, deepening the kiss. 

Without pulling our lips apart Kellin takes my hand and moves it to his crotch pressing it down until I feel...

I pull away from him suddenly.

“Are you-“

A smile curls his lips up and he nods.

“Surprise!” He says quietly. “Turns out that was just a side effect from the drugs.”

“I’m so happy for you,” I say earnestly. It seems silly but I know how embarrassed he got about that. “Does this mean you’re gonna fuck me tonight?” I suggest.

His eyes widen and I think I see a twinkle of lust in them too.

“You would let me?”

“Yeah, I’m a switch.”

“I didn’t know that,” he breathes.

I nod and he literally pounces on me. He straddles my legs and pushes his lips against mine again in a hungry, fast kiss. I don’t waste any time before I disrupt the kiss to pull his shirt off and he eagerly does the same for me. 

We make out and grind against each other until my erection begins feeling painfully restrained in my pants.

“I need you,” I pant against his lips.

He nods and gets up, going to his dresser and rifling around for the stuff we need. I take the opportunity to shuffle out of my pants, leaving my boxers for Kellin to take off of me. He tosses a bottle of lube and a condom on the bed before taking off his pants and underwear, leaving them in a heap on the floor.

He crawls on the bed and positions himself in between my legs, bending over me and trailing kisses all over my chest and stomach. When he reaches my happy trail he kitten licks me, even continuing over my boxers until he’s mouthing at my erection through the fabric.

“God, please Kells,” I whine. 

Everything I want is right here and he’s teasing me, driving me absolutely crazy.

He giggles and sits up, sliding my underwear off and taking my penis in his hand. He strokes it a couple of times until a thin stream of precum trickles from the tip.

“Don’t get too excited on me just yet,” he teases, squirting lube on his fingers.

“I can’t help it babe, you’re too hot for your own good.”

He tries to play it cool but I think I see a little blush cover his cheeks at my flattery.

“Tell me if anything hurts, okay?” He says before beginning to massage my hole.

“Okay. It’s been awhile since I’ve bottomed so just go slow.”

He takes his time sliding the first finger in and gently rocking it in and out, completely stopping when I feel a pinch. Before he adds the second finger he uses even more lube and pushes them in so slow that I don’t have any pain. It actually begins feeling good as he curls his digits around and stimulates my prostate, causing a low moan to escape my throat.

“God, you’re good at this,” I tell him.

“I’ve had a lot of practice on myself recently while I was away.”

Just the thought of him fingering himself makes me cock twitch.

He scissors his fingers, actually prepping me for something bigger now and easing up on all the pleasure. He does exactly as I asked and thoroughly preps me until I literally beg him to fuck me.

I watch him roll a condom on and coat himself in lube, admiring that this is the first time I’ve ever seen him erect and he’s actually really well hung.

“You can ride me at first, so you can control the speed and stuff,” he offers.

He lays down, propping his head on his arm and I swing one of my legs over him, opting for reverse cowgirl. I know that when I fuck people I think it’s hot to watch them being stretched out and I hope Kellin feels the same way. 

I position myself over his dick and take him in my hand, lifting my hips until he can slide in. 

“Oh god,” he breathes, gripping my hip with one hand. He doesn’t force me to do anything, he just holds me.

I let more of him inch into me, ignoring the slight sting that I feel from his cock trying to fit inside of me. He ends up brushing directly against my prostate which throws any discomfort I was feeling out the window and I quickly grind down, pushing the rest of him in.

I don’t need any time to get used to him, I just lift my hips up and slide back down, pleasuring both of us with each bounce.

“Oh fuck, Vic!” He moans, gripping my waist with both hands and helping my movements become faster. 

I do my best but pretty soon my thighs are burning, so I lean over and grip his legs for support while I grind my hips back and forth, massaging him inside of me.

“Hhhhmmmmmm, fuck,” I whimper, grinding faster.

“Come here,” Kellin groans.

When I sit up he lifts me off of him and turns us over so that I’m laying on the bed and he’s above me. He gets in between my legs and pushes them toward my chest, making more room for himself. I barely have time to get comfortable before he slams inside of me roughly. It feels amazing after the pitiful job I was doing a second ago. 

“Yes! Harder!” I beg.

I haven’t gotten fucked like this in a long time and I can tell that I’m not gonna last much longer if he keeps this up.

He thrusts his cock deeper and deeper into me, making me whine and grip his arms for some kind of support. I feel every inch of him glide right up my ass and brush against my prostate and I know I’m done for.

“Babe, I-I’m gonna cum.”

“Go ahead, cum for me. Make a mess,” he urges me, taking my dick in his palm and jacking me off in time with his thrusts.

“Oh god, oh god, oh-“

I buck my dick up into his fist as I begin shooting my sperm everywhere. My whole body is on fire with this feeling of pure lust and pleasure as he continues fucking me.

When I start getting overstimulated I pull away from him and sit up. Since he’s kneeling on the bed I’m now face to face with his cock and I pull off the condom before sucking him into my mouth. He groans and gently thrusts himself back and forth, fucking my mouth and controlling my speed. He doesn’t force me to deep throat him, which I’m thankful for, but I love the way he’s still being dominant.

“I’m close,” he warns a couple minutes later.

I speed up and pay special attention to his tip, digging my tongue into his slit.

“Fuck,” he groans as he begins cumming into my mouth.

When he seems to have finished ejaculating I pull away and stroke him with my hand until he’s completely free of his orgasm.

“Wow,” he breathes, his chest still heaving.

I laugh and collapse on the bed. He joins me and I pull him close, still overjoyed that he’s here.

“That was really amazing,” I say dreamily.

“Yeah it was, if I’d known fucking you would be like that then I would have gone to rehab way sooner,” he jokes.

“And if I had known how big of a dick you have then I would have forced you to go earlier, just so you could fuck me.”

He hides his face in my shoulder, probably so I don’t see it turn red.

“You’re adorable,” I coo.

“Thank you,” he says, although it’s muffled.

I sigh and hold him tight. The sex is obviously amazing, but nothing beats seeing him happy and healthy.

I guess he had to go through that rough patch and eventually end up in rehab so that he could end up where he belongs. Right here, in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1513 words :)


End file.
